The Youth of Today


Today I went to the cashline and took out some money.

There was a gang of teenagers behind me and as I punched the buttons I was very interested to hear their speech patterns. “So, Ah was, like, and she was, like, and then she said, “Eh, no way!!” an Ah’m like “Ahr ye gonnae say that?” an then ah’m like “Nn-i-i-i”*, and she’s like,” etc.

So entranced was I, that I neglected to collect the money. Young lad ran into the post office after me to give me back the notes.  I’m not going to say that this has restored my faith in the youth of today, because I have never lost it. But, young man, you are worthy of mention here.

* A linguistic device impossible to render on paper without a degree in the subject.  It’s a noise made at the back of the throat, ejected via the nose, and it means – well, in our house we understand it to mean “The answer to your question is no, and the fact that you have asked it leads me to doubt your sanity.”


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